Grooming Beyond the Facial Hair

During my high school days, I had what some would call “fuzzy eyebrows.” They were not quite as bad as a full uni-brow, but hairs did cross in the middle. I was fairly self-conscious about my eyebrows and did not like people pointing out the near uni-brow. When I went off to college, my crazy, Gothic-Lotita hair stylist recommended I get my eyebrows waxed. She personally did not like them and was as polite as possible recommending I get a wax job. At first I was a bit skeptical and knew it would hurt. She offered to do it for free just to show me the difference (I also think she liked putting people in pain). I lay down on the message table and she went to work on causing me pain and agony. After a few painful swipes and some eyebrow plucking, I was a new man with perfectly rounded eyebrows. The results were shocking and I have been happily paying $5-10 about every two months. None of my co-workers or friends has realized I get eyebrow waxing. It is one of those things that unless you let it get out of control (as in stop getting it done), people will never know.

I have asked a number of estheticians what they thought about guys getting various body parts waxed. Most said that they have regular male clients who get their eyebrows, chest, back, and neck waxed (I have tried this too and find it very painful). The estheticians I have used stated that it is purely personal preference for men to get various body parts waxed. Chest and back waxing can run anywhere from $35 and up, while most eyebrow waxing ranges from $5-15. The one area that most estheticians refuse to wax is the genital area (do it at your own risk).

When I talk about waxing body hair with my male friends, many like to remind me of the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin. While the waxing in that movie is completely real, it is not the correct method used in salons and day spas. Also, the more you get the same area waxed, the less it hurts over time.

The benefit of waxing is that the hair grows back slower and is evenly removed. Downsides to waxing include monetary expenditures and some pain during the process. My experiences with waxing have made me more confident and happier with my appearance. I would recommend that anyone give it a chance to see if waxing is right for them. Put aside the metro sexuality and ask your stylist for a change of pace the next time you step foot in a hair salon.

So You Think You Can Dance?

Dancing is one of my personal hobbies that I enjoy doing all the time. I took Swing lessons and had female friends teach me how to bump and grind. My mother always said I had rhythm, which makes it even easier to pick up new moves. It annoys me when I go out to bars playing Top 40, R & B, Rap, and Techno that do not contain a dance floor.

Over the years, I have realized that there are not many men who share the same interests in dancing. During my college days, I ran around with one guy to the two dance spots in town. We used to approach groups of two or three women on the dance floor by asking them to dance or just jumping into their circles. It usually worked well in getting numbers, earning a make-out session, or just having fun for a night. None of my other male friends had any interest in dancing or even stepping foot into a dance bar. Many of them thought they were not good and would embarrass themselves.

I strongly believe that learning how to dance in a social setting is an important talent to possess. It is a great way to impress a woman, get her in a more intimate situation, and even make a move. You don’t have to take Salsa or Ballroom lessons to impress women unless they play that kind of music in the bars and dance clubs you frequent. My advice is to go out with a female or two and have them teach you how to follow their leads for different genres of music. I also recommend taking a basic dance class such as Swing or Salsa to learn some general footwork and moves that would impress people anywhere.

Are Looks Important? Somewhat Yes and Somewhat No

I read a book called The Game by Neil Strauss which tells stories about pick-up artists. One of the interesting parts of the book contains the methods of change Strauss goes through in order to become a pick-up artist. He begins to practice his dialog, changes his hair, and even decides to bulk up. Strauss points out that you do not have to be completely ripped, but you do need to gain an attractive physic. I am going to completely agree with the author and explain in more detail why this statement is true.

In today’s society, men put more emphasis on physical attraction than women. An emotional connection and the feeling of protection are what women crave more than physical attractiveness. Some people may disagree with my stereotypical comments, but I promise that this is standard. It is important for a man to appear fit and athletic, but not necessarily showing a six-pack. Ever since I joined a gym two years ago, I have had much more luck with women. I am by no means very strong or even huge shoulders, but I am in good shape and fit well in clothing. Being physically appealing for me raises the chances of a girl showing interest and answering the call after obtaining her number. I also fall into the cute category of men. This makes a certain type of girl interested in me that may not find bulky muscles attractive.

When I go out to the bars with my best friend, we always attract different women. However, we are both decently attractive and social enough to make approaches. Looks will get you in the door, but it’s your actions and words that carry further. Even if a first date is arranged, one must act accordingly and develop conversations for a shot at a second one. This is why I believe that looks are somewhat important but not the ultimate factor.    

Another factor to keep in mind is that women typically choose men that they find either equally attractive or higher on the scale. In other words, if a woman finds herself ugly she will be interested in men who meet or exceed her self image. I generally find couples of similar physical attractiveness shopping in my retail environment. There are always exceptions to general assumptions (yes I know a few couples that are exceptions), but across the board this stereotype stands.

I find that being more attractive as a male opens the door to more attractive females and a broader range of choices. Remaining physically unappealing will limit the interactions and decrease the amount of potential partners. I strongly believe that men can become overly fit or extremely thin and end up losing physical appeal. In my opinion, the middle to upper-middle road that Strauss discusses is the most ideal path to meeting potentially attractive mates.

The Numbers Game Part 2

We arrived at the dance room and quickly scanned the area to find groups of women. Typically, we will go up to 2 or 3 women and either jump into their group or ask them to dance with us. While walking around the perimeter of the floor, we noticed that most of the women already had guys with them or where in a large group of mixed sexes. We made two attempts on some college girls, but were quickly shot down. Instead of hanging around the dance area, we decided to venture into the main concert room.

This room was huge and contained two side bars, a food area, a large stage, extremely big dance area in the middle, and a catwalk around the perimeter. There was a cover band playing some early 2000 rock music. After a few songs, they would take a break and top 40 hits would play for a while. The middle dance area was packed full of people, so we decided to get drinks at the left side bar and see who to approach.

The side bar was a good place to talk because there was enough standing room to move and not too noisy. We walked up to a group of four college girls and tried to break the ice. Our conversation lasted about three minutes total as they decided to walk away. We turned to two girls looking outside a window. They were watching a couple make out by a bar. We approached them and commented about the scene. We talked to them for a few minutes, but unfortunately my girl was not interested and walked away. However, my buddy's girl was interested in him since they lived close to each other and had a few things in common. After about a ten minute conversation he got her number to take her on a date. My buddy reminded me that we were close to the five number limit on legitimate rejections and had to make the next one  count (we agreed to approach as many groups as possible until we were straight-up shutdown five times). We saw three girls standing across from us chatting and decided that this was going to be it.

We walked over to the group and begin striking a conversation. They quickly introduced their selves as Hot Girl, Cute Girl, and O.K. Girl (real names replaced). My buddy and I both wanted to get to know Hot Girl better, but she was extremely drunk and hard to handle. They quickly told us that Cute Girl was moving to Arizona in a week. I narrowed down my choice to either talking with Hot Girl or O.K. Girl for the remainder of the evening. We talked to them about various things such as jobs, hometowns, ages, interests, and basically every general topic that comes up in first time conversations. While chatting, Hot Girl was walked up to by a number of guys and eventually one took her to the bar for a drink. This incident left my buddy with Cute Girl and myself with O.K. Girl. About that time the band was finishing up and dance music started playing. I asked O.K. Girl if she liked to dance and so we went to the floor to get our groove on. Meanwhile, Hot Girl shows up to dance with her new guy and my buddy tried to dance with Cute Girl (which wasn’t going anywhere fast). I pulled out some swing dance moves that always impress women and quickly won O.K. Girl over. Hot Girl ran off again with her new guy, and we danced for a few more songs before the lights turned on and the place began kicking people out. We made our way outside and gathered to mingle a bit more. Hot Girl was exchanging numbers with the new guy, my buddy was in the bathroom, and I was left alone with O.K. Girl and Cute Girl. When my buddy approached, I began to say goodbye with no intention of getting anyone’s phone numbers. O.K. Girl stopped me and asked why I had not asked for her number yet. My response was “Hmm, well can I have your phone number?” She was not too thrilled with the way I asked, but quickly snatched my phone and began typing in her name and number. She told me I had one chance to call her and make things work (I never called her). My buddy and I walked back to our place for the night and went to bed at 3:40 A.M.

The Numbers Game Part 1

I went on a long weekend vacation with a good buddy of my last week for boozing, cruising, and smoozing with the ladies. On our way there, we vowed to talk to every good looking women and attempt to make a move on them at the bars and on the main strip. We were destined to get numbers and maybe something more before the weekend was over. Our plan was to use what some call “The Numbers Game.” A random guy I met once told me that meeting women is like solicitation; the more you talk to the better chance you have of getting laid. He insisted that during a trip to Las Vegas, he spoke with about hundred women and slept with three of them. My buddy and I were going to take the guys advice and attempt to have the same results.

We went out to the biggest bar in town on Friday night. This bar holds a couple hundred people easily and contains multiple dance floors, outdoor bar areas, and two live bands. Friday night was college graduation night for one of the local universities. After pounding some beers, we rolled up at the place around 11:00 PM and discovered a line that stretched into the parking lots. This was a perfect opportunity to put our plan into action on some attractive young ladies. We decided to avoid standing in line and thought of a plan to get in without waiting two hours. My buddy spotted some bathrooms mid-way down that was for public usage. We walked over and cut the line a bit to stand in front of them and wait our turn. The plan was to go in the restroom and come out jumping in line. While waiting in the bathroom line, lady luck appeared in the form of a security guard ushering part of the line to a side entrance right in front of us. We quickly followed the herd and were inside in less than ten minutes.

Upon entering the bar, we spotted our friend that worked there and earned ourselves two free drinks. We decided to move all over the bar to check out groups of two to three women. Our plan was to make an approach and isolate the girl we were most interested in getting to know better. Approaching random girls is not easy. You have to come up with something interesting to say to get their interest. After approaching about four groups of women and failing, we got lucky with a group of college girls. I walked up to one of them and she instantly said that she has not seen me in forever and gave a huge hug. I went along with it and said that it was true and wanted to know what she has been doing. After about two minutes of chatter she commented that we really did not know each other at all, but she thought that was a good ice breaker. I took a note of trying this in the future. Meanwhile, my partner in crime was occupying two girls at once. I have no idea what he was talking about with them, but it at least gave me time to work the girl. We spoke with them for around 15 to 20 minutes until some of their guy friends approached. My buddy and I knew our time was up and we made our way to the dance rooms…………

Ingredients not Found in Grandma's Cookbook

Ingredients are important in any good recipe. The same can be said for beauty and health care items. There are many products on the market claiming to make life better, feel healthier, and correct known issues. Some of the products work as described; others may leave you wondering why tubes of liquid cost so much.

Paying attention to the ingredients in a product can save you money. The best example I can give is toothpaste. The active ingredient in a tube of toothpaste is sodium fluoride (0.24%). If you look at the back of a box of Pepsodent, it is the only ingredient listed. When comparing Pepsodent to a standard tube of Crest, the only noticeable difference is the taste and price since they contain the same ingredient. This is how you can save money while shopping for beauty and health items. The same can be done with standard cosmetic skincare items. You will want to do some research and possibly ask questions to a beauty advisor in order to find out about the active ingredients. This knowledge will allow you to shop around and save money. Keep in mind that some items contain patented ingredients not found in other products. Another point to know is the amount of the active ingredients in a product. For example, toothpaste contains a standard of 0.24% sodium fluoride. Certain beauty products are limited by the percentage included of active ingredients to remain over the counter. A new product on the market that totes containing more of an active ingredient is known as Even Better Clinical (dark spot remover for the skin). The difference between this and the previous Even Better product is the increase in the active ingredient percentage allowing the product to act faster and show more results. Next time you venture to the super market, take a look at the cheaper brands that may have the same results and are 1/3 to 2/3 the cost.

Bar Soap? A Big No-No

I have had acne issues through most of my life and used every prescription drug on the market. Eventually the acne cleared, but the random breakouts remained for years. I never knew that the bar soaps used to clean my body and face daily had zero effect on eliminating breakouts.

One of the most important facts I have learned in cosmetics is that regular bar soap has little effectiveness in removing oils and cleaning pores. You must use a designated face wash or product meant to remove oils and dirt for maximum cleanliness. The reason is that ingredients found in bar soap differentiate from those in average face wash. Typical soaps are made from palm or coconut oils. The key ingredient that you should look for in a face wash is Sodium Laureth Sulfate.

Sodium Laureth Sulfate is not only the main ingredient in face washes, but also shampoos. The chemical breaks down oils and dirt in the hair just like it does on the face. This is why products exist on the market designed for use on your face, hair, and even body. The face wash I use and recommend is Clinique Liquid Face Wash Extra – Strength (it also comes in a bar form). I will write more about ingredients in future blogs, but for now understand that ingredients are very important. Take a look at the multitude of face, hair, and body products the next time you visit the grocery, department, or drug store.